Even I don't know what lies ahead..

How wonderful are my roomates  this semester Chy and Teh, diorg sgt comel dan adorable.This is what they have told me to write. Perhaps this is because I am in a biul state right now, apparently I am too biul to study mandarin but have just the right amount of  biul  to let them tell me what to write in my blog. I guess I'll let them have this one. 

My future is mine. Cakap senang bikin susah tau. But sorry to say my future is not wholly mine , my future belongs to me, it is my mom's and my dad's. Since a lot of things I do now, sangat berkait with my mom  and dad since diorang yg carved my future.  

One of the reasons, for this post is a talk I have had with my mom. It's more an argument than a talk.

 I've entered UiTM's debate club. It is awesome. Never would have I tought I'll be proud of my english, and find myself in an English talking community in UiTM. They use like really2 big words, words that I think only  lawyers would understand, so kita rase ashamed and challenged at the same time. I've entered my first tournament , b coz ade group yg tak leh attend. 

And we didn't lose too badly, for Someone who've joined debate club for a week maybe two , I thought we did good.  So I've sacrified one of my weekends. So I didn't study.  like didn't study at all with 3 tests piling up all week along.

So told my mother about it. Dia said something like this " tulah ko ikut nafsu, ko dah janji kat diri kau, kau akan jaga diri kau mase degree ni  benda ni ko boleh buat mase kau tua tau"

you see one of the many things I've learn from debate club is

NOTHING IS UNDISPUTABLE

so although I feel like I want to cry bila dia ckp macam tu, I have kuat kan diri  and said these words to her "mana mami tau Rad ada peluang macam ni lagi bila dah tua" senyap gak lah dia for 3-5 seconds.

Because I  know it  as much as she knows what lies in my future, is that we both know nothing. How does she know that  I'll  have this exact chance and oppurtinity when I'm old. What if I'm destined to work in a lab and do the same things everyday and will never got to do this, the thing that I love so very much : my English and my presenting skills.

Kalo mase tgk bakteria bawah microscope tu boleh jadi MC untuk majlis konvo diorg ke ape  ke takpe lah gak . Ni cakap "hi tgh buat apa tu?"   pun tak leh, kalo buat macam tu mesti org dalam lab fikir biul ke kurang waras budak ni?

My point is,

kalo kita sendiri tuan punya badan  don't know what lies in my future, apa yg buat dia lebih tahu?  Disebabkan tu, shouldn't I grab the first oppurtinity and chance that I've got  to show to the world @public what are the magnificent things I'm capable of? (poyo nak mampus budak ni, magnificent tu)

Senang cakap kalo kita tak buat sekarang, bila lagi kita nak buat? Ada satu lagi sebab sebenarnya kenapa kita tulis pasal future ni, but till next time.

Felt lain MACAM-macam

They say if I did get job, they would give me a call. but they didn't. My roomate told me that her bestfriend's roommate got the job. So tahulah tak dapat. Dah lah mase tu tgh lipat baju.

chy : apasal ko lipat baju senget2?

aku :  biasalah org x biasa lipat baju.

chy: ko tau tak roomate tiq dah dapat kerja  tu.

aku : ha? ye ke ?

Then lipat baju balik. I tried to control macho.tapi dah namanya perempuan kan  I guess I just couldn't. Then call my mom," I didn't get the job" Mase ni suara aku dah lain macam dah, mami kita cakap ape" ala takpelah ko pun kata nak jaga diri ko sem ni kan. " Then letak telefon. 

Then I couldn't bare it anymore, I grabbed my keys and then went into one of the showers and lock the door. lepas tu nangis mcm jembalang hilang anak, dah agak 30-50 saat macam tu, heard Chy masuk bilik air.

Lepas tu keluar bilik air dgn muka yg sangat sembab dan bengkak. She saw me, lepas tu dia dtg kat kita pujuk kita,  " Nangis, nangis puas2, takpe tak dapat jadi tutor boleh jadi lecturer ye?" Lepas tu dia mandi and then I went back to my room, Lepas tu dgn tak sangkanya , ada coklat atas meja kita . 

Satu bar Chocolate yg mamat yg suka dia ni bagi kat dia, dgn note ini.

Terharunya!!!!! Tak pernah ada org pujuk kita mcm tu,siap bagi coklat lagi, coklat cadbury yg besar dan sedap lak tu.  

Hari tu felt like the worst day of my life dan rase mcm boleh nangis sebulan , rase mcm I have a boyfriend who I love so very2 much, and then he died, mcm tu kut rasenya bf mati .( I had a bf tapi xpernah syg dia, guess that's why I dump him) sedih yg teramat sgt, tapi ade roomate yg sgt awesome... jadi legalah sikit,

Tapi  tak sampai seminggu kita dah tak rasa sedih sgt  cuma terkilan, I guess I really wanted it , tapi they went for students with an english background, so what can I do?

Chy did say, mane tau tak dapat jadi cikgu tiba Rad jadi famous lak kat UiTM ni jadi pendebat yg hebat.  (I've joined a UiTM debate club anyways) and debated last week with actual opponents sebab ade kumpulan tak dapat hadir kita org gantilah. And it felt awesome, like I lived, like really really lived....

Betullah apa diorg kata satu pintu tutup, yg lain mesti bukaknya..... Have many more things to tell tapi till next time...