aku tgh procrastinating

That is a very hard word to spell (seriously, I have to look it up). And I hate it, but I am doing it right now.

I have assignments to do and they are due next week. Esok, name je hari Ahad, tapi ade event kolej yg makan masa 1 hari, dan meeting untuk dinner persatuan malam esok, damn....

I have to say, I'm probably procrastinating because:

1) I am excited (bukan yg bagus punya excited, worried punya excited) about my event.
     So much so, that I can't concentrate in class, I can't do work, all I can think about is getting it done.
2) Bila I do work, in front of my laptop, I turn on everything else when I got bored and want a break, I read these "everything else" for, well, for a very long time.

Things I have to do?

a) literature review.... nak habiskan hari ni nampaknya there's no chance of that happening dan takde dalam journal about the things I'm going to write, jadi nanti tanya supervisor.... (this chapter is hard....)

b)event things to talk about in the meeting-done

c) computer programming homework- ok esok buat (yelah tu....)

d) philosophy of science (paper yg boring, xde exam, setakat lulus dan gagal, tapi kena lepas) ok buat lepas blogging

Other than that, my cat's death still bothers me... but the event management thing is a good distraction from it (and from doing my school work....)


So this excitement thing, I know I need to turn it down a notch , to find  peace and serenity so I can study and do work but I can't.... what the hell is wrong with me?
\

So last but not least, (it's my conscious turn now) Rad kalo ko dah sedar..... daripada ko blog x tentu arah baik quit and do your school work, since itu yg menentukan ko akan grad atau tak!!!!!!!!

So Selamat Tengah Malam untuk semua org..............

for a little while I felt like an adult

I am directing an activity for my persatuan,

its nothing big, nothing fancy... Program Smart Learning jer...
At first, I thought of doing this small (50 people) and to give back to my persatuan sebab I think being with them have helped me to improve my grades. But he said, do 100, and do it for other kids  too....
I was like WHAT???? (dalam hatilah....)

But doing the proposal on my own (tiga jerawat tumbuh serentak),
 meeting and talking to my boss  and setiusaha agung on my own (segan gila.... although I know diorang sporting habis)
going to the canseleri on my own  (jalan kaki tau takde keta??? Budak uitm je tahu berapa atas bukitnya canseleri tu) to get penasihat punya  stamp kelulusan.
Tuhan je tahu, berapa menakutkan semua ni for me. Tuhan je tahu how I felt this is such a big responsibility for little ol me. Sebab I guess I always think myself as a 22 year old baby (yelah an only child kan) that can't  do anything or know anything about event management. There are times when I felt like dropping everything.

But on that day, (15th Oct to be precise) my proposal got through ( although she said ade benda yg adik kena isi lagi ni then pulangkan balik ok dik? & banyak budget kena potong)

I felt like an actual adult...
I felt like I'm really working, meeting actual people, actual adults, dekat Pusat Kegiatan Pelajar, although it was scary to think that my proposal might be turned down, but I went it for it anyways...
and it did  got through

I was glad...
Although after I got my surat kelulusan I sort of TERCENGANG "NAK BUAT APA LEPAS NI?
 and this girl who knows nothing is now the PROJECT MANAGER (crap!! what have I gotten myself into?)
God, tolonglah bagi kami membantu antara sesama sendiri (to help me specifically) so that benda ini berjalan dengan jayanya.... Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin....