while I'm here on my own doing nothing

Dissapointed... I thought he was like me. I long to meet someone like me. 

Someone who would put his hopes and dreams over everything else. Alas.. he is not. I really like him too. Even told him " Sayang ko" that night. But not like that. More like a big brother that I truly appreciate.For his support, his guidance. Crap!!! why did I say that to him?

I think it is because he was the one who was always there for me. He was the one who told me " jangan bagi org bagi tahu kau apa ko boleh dan tak boleh buat" , "percaya kat diri ko, aku tahu ko boleh" he was the only one who keep telling me I should believe and realise my dreams. He was the guy I would talk too if things get too hard or too unbearable.  This is why I would say such a thing too him.

Alas  he has a girlfriend. Whom that night was in his car, when we told him to pick us up, because  gate uitm seksyen 7 DAH TUTUP malam tu ( sebab buat kerja gila sampai pukul 12 malam). Apparently he introduced her to his family that night. I don't know why suddenly I feel all different about him. like he wasn't my friend anymore???.  But I know he is still the same person who supported me all those time, My PEMBAKAR SEMANGAT as I  would affectionately call him.

I didn't think he has a girlfriend. He sure never have mentioned her before. When we all went out together, he sure doesn't look like someone who have a girl friend.  I don't have a crush on him. I really don't. I just really want to meet someone like me. 

Someone who doesn't have a boyfriend and wants to achieves her hope and dreams over anything else. That someone would be socially retarded like me I guess. I don't have anything against it. It just that my bestfriend have a boy friend, and this guy have a girlfriend who he intends to marry. And I think they are rubbing it on my face

Susah sgt ke nak jumpa a friend who doesn't have a partner and just want to achieve his hopes and dreams. I guess I'm just afraid of losing my best friend and him to their loved ones. Even though there are times my best friend Zuzu, would say that she want to go out with just me , "Rad bila kita nak couple sama sama ni, asyik keluar ramai ramai je" She said something about " gila awak lain kalau awak dgn kita je". Takde bukti yg sahih that stated my crazy is different when I'm with her.

I would say " Saja, aku punya sukalah nak menduakan kau wahahaha"

I guess I am just afraid  because while they are with those who love them I'll be  out here on my own doing nothing.