Dulu-dulu

Well not really dulu-dulu, lebih pada 2-3 tahun lepas I was a different person. I used to bring a book, a novel specifically.. everywhere  with me. So that in between classes, in between labs I will have something to read sampai lunyai novel yg agak tebal dan mahal (RM 40 to me is quite expensive) tu. That is how I come up with the url for this blog "Bendauntukdibaca". I Then I own an mp4 player, after that  the phone yg boleh main mp3. Well lets just say, those reading days are now over.

 Its not that I don't read. Its just that I stopped reading proper English.  And I believe that it has a token a toll on my literary works (wah perasaan). I sware, rasanya english masa ambik SPM dulu lebih baik dari sekarang lebih correct grammarnya, lebih berbunga-bunga. Now try as I might, I don't think I can anymore. Nak tulis apa pun tak tahu, ni kan pulak berbunga-bunga...

That is why I don't want to pursue masters, I think time spent writing my FYP thesis (which composed of segala-segalanya, DARAH, MARAH, TEARS, SELF ESTEEM YG SEMAKIN HARI SEMAKIN LEMAH dek kena marah supervisor everytime I went to see him) have like really stricken me of my creativity and spirit. I couldn't even put my own words and identity into my thesis. It's all his. Semua yg cantik dan kreatif habis dipotongnya buat ayat baru. Sure I get an A-, but really I don't want to go through it again.

Now that I have nothing to do (kecuali menghantar resume to all the non- scientisty companies I can think of dengan harapan dapatlah kerja by the end of this month) I've started to read again, site site yg ade cerita dengan ayat berbunga-bunga for now cth, mcm  City of  shared stories kuala lumpur, fanfiction ( mcm tak proper je yg tu), blogs yg use ayat berbunga-bunga and other improper things . Maybe  I even read buku-buku yg terperap dalam kotak tu.

And maybe just maybe after a whole lot of reading, reading, and reading... I will write again...